Fresh Start

We meet to part and we part to meet..

i’m ready to leave,

not because i’m ready

but because you leave me no choice.

you’re teaching me the emotion of hatred but i really don’t want to hate

who gave you the right to make me feel so little.

i’m tired of you! and all that you embody!

I’m a Queen and you’re a peasant, trash so please stay away.

you talk all high and mighty but only in my absence

grow some damn balls!

i really dislike you!

and while this was supposed to be about a new start you’ve made it about you.

you’re in the past! you are the past!

the new me will never see you again,

never meet you or your kind again

because you’re a threat to my sanity.

when i become GREAT you’ll be a part of my stepping stones!

good riddance..

it’s the past now

it’s okay,

it’s in the past now…

forget it,

don’t stay wallowing in it ’cause that won’t change the past

the rational and logical thing to do is to keep moving forward

but hey, you’re scared

it’s okay to soak in your emotions a bit,

it’s allowed because

while “you’re a sum total of the decisions you make, […] your last bad decision doesn’t have to define you.”

Sh*t I go through

We all go through shit,

I know this,

and that’s why i can’t tell him or her or them,

’cause they’re stressed too..

no scale can determine whose is worse,

but you gotta understand,

i feel shit differently,

every fibre,

every nerve,

every follicle,

and every sense feels it

i see it with my eyes open

and when they’re closed,

i smell it in the air that i breathe,

and can’t escape it in every passing thought,

it’s always here.

and that’s why the only way i can describe it when he asks is

I want it to stop.

Travel?

I.., I just want to travel,

there is so much to this world than meets the eye,

and i want to experience every ounce of it.

Every feeling, every mood, every sent, every story,

how to go and to grow,

to be and to see,

to feel and to be oblivious,

but why is it so difficult?

Responsibilities, oh responsibilities,

why do you hinder me without being as clear as a cloudless day

always here even when you’re not here

never letting me slack

others say you’re only an excuse

just until you become their responsibility.

Well, can I?

He said I couldn’t do it

He said I can’t figure it out

He said it’s obvious

And It hurt..

But the question… is can I?

Can I excel at this thing called life?

Is it for me?

Did I choose the right path?

If so, did it choose me back?

Can I get get a congratulations?

Can I not get a criticism?

Can I deal with one more unfortunately?

“Unfortunately, we regret to…”

Can I do good in this exam?

Can I do okay?

Can I not give up on doing great?

Can I hold on much longer?

Can I stop?

Can I pause?

I’m getting tired…

Don’t tell me it’s selfish

Don’t tell me it’s selfish, because you don’t understand what i’m going through

Don’t tell me it’s selfish because you underestimate how I feel and overestimate how strong I am

Don’t tell me it’s selfish because you only know what I tell you and what you see

Don’t tell me it’s selfish because you’re not and can never be me

Don’t tell me it’s selfish because you can’t understand what it means to be me

Don’t call me selfish because that’s you being selfish towards me.